Smiling Through Irish Heartbreak
Oscar Wilde said, “The heart was meant to be broken.”
He should know. He was Irish.
Image above inspired by robert-v-ruggiero-JR-bJYBBDbk-unsplash.jpg and kelly-sikkema-E8H76nY1v6Q-unsplash.jpg
Oscar Wilde said, “The heart was meant to be broken.”
He should know. He was Irish.
They say a little heartbreak never hurt anybody.
Eventually, heartbreak is supposed to make you stronger. Wiser. Maybe even better.
The Irish know heartbreak. They take it on their chins. Wear it on their sleeves.
They also know how to give it.
The heartbreak born of hurt from my first true love - an Irishman - is a heartbreak I’ll never get over. It nearly killed me.
My big heartbreak was Paudie O’Connor.
I adored Paud. He was magical.
When I first met Paudie, he bowled me over with those big, ocean-blue eyes. That oval shaped face, framed by a head full of golden-brown curls. A smile that could knock you over with its brilliance and warmth — a smile that said, “I know you already. I feel what you feel. I believe what you believe. We are one, you and I.”
I have to admit this … for me, it was love at first sight.
~Sigh~
Oh, God. That smile of his …
According to William Arthur Ward, “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.”
That was Paudie. He was universally kind. A friend to everyone. A true gentleman.
The master of the smile.
And utterly irresistible to me.
I loved him.
Fiercely. Wildly. Desperately.
And he loved me too.
We were so, so good together.
While it lasted.
I remember that when we spoke on the phone years ago, remembering what it was like when we were young and in love, Paudie said to me, in his deep, dark, barrel of whiskey voice … ““Twas good, wasn’t it, Deb?”
And I replied, “Yes, it was, Paud. It was very good.”
I discuss this in depth in my book, Searching for Danny Boy: Falling in Love with Ireland and Basketball Legend, Paudie O’Connor.
But I’m sharing it with you now because, after all - this is the day before Valentine’s Day.
And I miss those days with Paudie.
I miss that smile.
I’m old now, but I still long for that kind of dangerous, hungry love we shared when we were young. That “Irish Heartbreak” I suffered was all worth it, though. Even though it wounded me deeply.
In the end - no matter how much it hurts - Love is always, always worth it.
So, on this day before Valentine’s Day, I leave you with the words of Dr. Suess (of all people!) …
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
~Read more about my joyous love and deep heartbreak in Searching for Danny Boy: Falling in Love with Ireland and Basketball Legend, Paudie O’Connor when it comes out March 17, 2026 - Saint Patrick’s Day!~
(You’ll find Searching for Danny boy at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Apple Books. Or ask your favorite bookstore to order it for you.)
In the meantime … Smile.
Share the love.
Blow someone a kiss.
You’ll thank yourself later.
I’m not alone, am I?
Please share .. tell me about your own heartbreak here in the comments.
Paudie O’Connor - The Most Beautiful Man I Ever Laid Eyes On
Paudie O’Connor & The Lakes of Killarney
Paudie O’Connor was the most beautiful man I’d ever laid eyes on.
When I met him in the kitchen of The Aghadoe Heights Hotel in Killarney back in 1972, he was sitting at a table in a corner, tucked away from the bustle of the rest of the room. His best friend, Mick, introduced us. I sensed Mick anticipated a transformative encounter between us, and I was right.
Mick grinned, nodding toward us during his introduction. “Debbie, Paudie … Paudie, Debbie.”
Paudie stood up – all 6’4” of him – and I thought I’d die. He was gorgeous.
Creamy light skin. Ocean-blue eyes. Wavy, sandy brown hair flecked with gold. An Oval face framing handsome, rugged features. A tight, muscular body – just primed to play basketball. Good God Almighty, I was in trouble … and I’d only just met him!
I figured he was a player. Someone that women found irresistible. Someone who had tons of girls hanging all over him. I decided he wasn’t for me, and we would just let the whole night ride out and never see each other again.
But then he reached over and offered me his hand. “Hello, Yank. I’m Paudie O’Connor.” It was hopeless. I hated to admit it, but I was already falling for him.
He had this killer baritone voice. Men would die for a voice like that. Hell, I died just hearing it. So, I was even more determined I wanted no romantic involvement with this man. It would only lead to trouble, and trouble was something I definitely did not need. No sir.
He smiled at me again, and I felt myself being pulled in. Dammit, Debbie. Get it together!
Later, we went to a bar in downtown Killarney, and he told me how much he loved the Carolina Tarheels. How cool he thought Dean Smith, their legendary coach was. I’m a Tarheel myself - he was intrigued by that. I was intrigued that he was intrigued.
Okay. So he had my attention in a big way. This was 1972, and there were few TVs in Ireland. How did an Irishman know that much about the Heels, then?
How, indeed? I would soon learn that if Paudie put his mind to something, he found a way to know everything about it. And that everything was basketball. God, he was impressive.
As we sat in a booth at the bar, I wanted him to touch me in the worst way.
Paudie seemed to know my desire because he ran his finger along my arm. God, I needed that!
He chuckled as he asked me a question. “Where do you live, Deb? You don’t mind if I call you Deb instead of Debbie, do you?”
Did I MIND? He could call me Pocahontas if he wanted to, and I’d love it!
I was hooked. So very hooked. Just wait until I tell you more.
Stay Tuned for the rest of this post next week …
Paudie O’Connor: The Basketball Star I Loved
Paudie O’Connor, the charismatic Irishman I fell in love with back in 1972, was already a basketball success in Killarney when I met him.
Paud, as he liked me to call him, fell in love with basketball when he was young. He began practicing his basketball skills along with his brothers at an early age. When we first met, he explained to me how he taught himself to shoot at the net when he was growing up.
In the heart of Killarney stood a modest green space marked by a single timber telegraph pole. It was here that the O'Connor boys created their own basketball court, with young Paudie climbing onto his brothers' shoulders to attach a hoop to the pole. This makeshift court became the training ground where Paudie developed his extraordinary shooting and scoring abilities.
The neighboring parish hall, which housed a proper basketball court, became Paudie's second home. His dedication was legendary—locals recall he even slept with his basketball under the bedcovers, ensuring the scent of the ball would greet him first thing each morning.
Paudie's relationship with basketball transcended mere passion—the game completely captivated him. His level of commitment remains unparalleled, a testament to his singular focus and love for the sport.
When Paud came to visit me in the States in the summer of 1973, he had just returned from Dean Smith’s Carolina Basketball Camp in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, where he had learned new skills from a coach he so admired. He was eager to return to Killarney and share everything he learned with his teammates.
"Deb, we'll be unstoppable," he said in his sexy Irish accent. "You have no idea how much more advanced de Americans are when it comes to basketball."
I was amazed by his dedication to the sport he loved so well.
I was also amazed by the person Paudie truly was—never boastful, always sweet-natured and kind. He proved to be the ideal boyfriend for someone like me, who had been firmly convinced I wanted nothing to do with romance before meeting him.
I was fortunate that Paudie fell in love with me. Basketball was equally blessed that he loved the sport so deeply.
If you’re interested in more about Paudie O’Connor, follow this link: https://ibb-history.blogspot.com/p/paudie-oconnor-killarney.html
Paudie O’Connor, the charismatic Irishman I fell in love with back in 1972, was already a basketball success in Killarney when I met him.
Paud, as he liked me to call him, fell in love with basketball when he was young. He began practicing his basketball skills along with his brothers at an early age. When we first met, he explained to me how he taught himself to shoot at the net.
There was a single timber telegraph pole near his home where the O'Connor boys created their own basketball court, with Paudie climbing onto his brothers' shoulders to attach a chickenwire hoop to the pole. How I would’ve loved to have seen that!
Paudie developed his extraordinary shooting and scoring abilities on this makeshift court that served as his training ground. The proper basketball court in the neighboring parish hall became his second home.
When Paud came to visit me in the States in the summer of 1973, he had just returned from Dean Smith’s Carolina Basketball Camp in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, where he had learned new skills from the famous university coach he so admired. He was eager to return to Killarney and share everything he learned with his teammates.
"Deb, we'll be unstoppable," he said in his sexy Irish accent. "You have no idea how much more advanced de Americans are when it comes to basketball."
As for his physical appeal, I’ll tell you the truth: Paudie was HOT. He was tall - 6'‘4” - with an athlete’s taut, muscular body and the most gorgeous face on the planet. And oh, those soulful blue eyes!
Wherever we went, I was conscious of how lucky I was to be his girlfriend. Every woman we encountered envied me, and I knew it.
When Paud and I were together, despite his attractiveness to others, he remained completely devoted to me. He made me feel like I was the only woman in the room. He consistently complimented my appearance, intelligence, and company. No other man has ever made me feel so valued and cherished.
I was also amazed by the person Paudie truly was—never boastful, always sweet-natured and kind. He was just one of the guys with men and desired by women, and made it his personal goal to remain friends with everyone he met.
His tender heart and devoted pursuit of me - the “Yank” - made Paud the ideal boyfriend for someone like me, who had been firmly convinced I wanted nothing to do with romance before meeting him.
Paudie O'Connor had a profound, positive impact on my life.
He taught me to love freely and without restraints, to believe in myself, and to follow my dreams without hesitation. I will always love him.
There is so much more to our love story. You’ll find out more eventually, I promise.
Be sure to check back here for updates, and sign up for my newsletter to stay current on publishing news.
To learn more about the remarkable Paudie O’Connor (and view a few photos of him), follow this link: https://ibb-history.blogspot.com/p/paudie-oconnor-killarney.html
AUTHOR: Deb Trotter